Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
