im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
handjob tips. give me some.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize