i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
