Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
