there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
