We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
