So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
