Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
