don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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