Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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