i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
