VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
