she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
