Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
