I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize