I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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