I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
