so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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