TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
did you just send me my own nude
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
