North Korea, Best Korea!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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