It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
