What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
