I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
