I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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