Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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