there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
