You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
