I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
