wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
