Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
