I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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