I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
