maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
