This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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