his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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