I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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