His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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