Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
