What a fucking waste of an outfit
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
