We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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