the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
