I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
