Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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