Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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