Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
