You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
