piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
