pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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