i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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