Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I am morally bankrupt
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
