We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
