Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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