I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
