Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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