Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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