he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
