I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
