sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
