this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
