So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
worst night to have a conscience
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
