Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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