Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
